1. Ram Charan Teja Had No Takers: 4 films have turned the star-politician Chiranjeevi’s son Ram Charan into a rage in Andhra. The makers of the new Zanjeer thought they could kill two birds with one stone. By casting a face that was unknown to Hindi audiences in the iconic Inspector Vijay Khanna’s role they thought they could avoid comparisons with the Big B and turn around the fortunes of South Indian heroes in Bollywood . None of the above happened. A filmmaker from the South who has been making films in Bollywood for nearly two decades put the dynamics of the star-son syndrome succinctly. He explained, “In the South if you’re a star-son you get immediate and permanent acceptance. It doesn’t work that way in Bollywood.” 2. Bachchan tampered: You can’t mess around with a Bachchan film. Remakes of the Big B’s films have to be pampered not tampered. Though Karan Malhotra’s take on Mukul Anand’s Agneepath was far more brutal than the original the basic conflict remained unaltered. The new Zanjeer made the cardinal mistake of relocating the original conflict from Salim-Javed’s script to the oil mafia in current times. Which, in essence, meant Apoorva Lakhia was making a different film. So why call it Zanjeer, then? A renowned filmy wag drawled, “Tel Maalish would have been a better title.” 3. Weak Music: The original Zanjeer is to this day remembered for Kalyanji-Anandji’s chart-topping songs Lata Mangeshkar’s Banaake kyon bigada re, Asha Bhosle’s Dil-jalon ka dil jala ke and of course Manna Dey’s Qawwalli Yaari hai imaan mera. The new Zanjeer replaced all the old music with new uninspired tunes some of them mimicking the originals. Like the cabaret for Mahie Gill and the Qawwalli for Sanjay Dutt seemed like a mockery of the original than a homage. Said a director-friend of Ramcharan’s, “They spent 2.5 crores on one action sequence in the new Zanjeer. Wish they had spent some money on buying a couple of the original Zanjeer tracks from Saregama-HMV. Spare us the spare parts.” 4. PC’s Chatterbox Act: Speaking non-stop suited Basanti in Sholay. Not many fans of Priyanka Chopra thought too highly of her verbose act in Zanjeer. A worried filmmaker who’s working with her confided in me, “Priyanka’s dances don’t work .And after Barfi this performance takes her from Shah Rukh Khan in My Name Is Khan to Hrithik Roshna in Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon.” To her credit Priyanka pulled off the talkative bimbette’s part much better than any of her contemporaries would have. 5. The Shuddh Desi Effect: Yashraj’s “young” sexy and sassy urban legend Shudh Desi Romance was released alongside Zanjeer and immensely liked by audiences. The wow factor went completely with Sushant Singh Rajput and Parineeti Chopra. Ram Charan and Priyanka just didn’t work as a pair. Also Yashraj seem to have an unrealistic amount of supporters on the internet , a whole parallel army of invisible endorsers who have been going ga-ga over Shudh Desi Romance while abusing Zanjeer. Who needs critics when you have Facebook foes? 6. Cops Heroes No More: Is it just a chance that all recent films featuring the leading man as a cop have bombed? Or is this a sign of the times when the nation has lost faith in the law enforcement agencies. Barring the spoofy lawman that Salman Khan played in Dabangg cop-heroes have had a tough time keeping their heads above the water. 7. Cleaning the system already done: A week before Zanjeer came Satyagraha which had already hosed down the current corruption of the country. Zanjeer came with a bit more of the same. Vijay Khanna wants a cleaner city and society. So do we. What’s the big deal? 8. Media manipulation: The character of Jaidev, the crime reporter played by Atul Kulkarni was so obviously based on the assassinated real-life journo J.Dey. The new Zanjeer made the mistake of mixing myth with headlines. The powerful anti-establishment stance of Vijay Khanna was diluted by too many attempts to borrow tantalizing spot-the-sameness titbits from newspapers. 9. Death Rides A Horse: That was the title of the film from which the original Zanjeer was inspired. In this Zanjeer the villain didn’t ride a horse. Unless we are talking about Mahie Gill’s equestrian expertise .Her equation with villain Teja (Prakash Raj) was meant to be spiffily sexy. But Prakash Raj’s comic meanie act has been done to death. If this talented actor, who gave a superlative sensitive National-award winning performance in Priyadarshan’s Kancheevaram, insists on playing the baddies repeatedly he must find different ways of doing the same. 10. Remakes Don’t Work, Period: Is it just coincidence that the two biggest thuds of the year Himmatwala and Zanjeer are remakes of old blockbusters. No wonder no major filmmaker in Mumbai is currently directing any remakes. Remakes and films set in the past(Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai Dobara) don’t work. Critics who have crowned the old Zanjeer as a ‘classic’ must remember that minus the Big B the old Zanjeer had nothing major to recommend itself. So beware. When 40 years from now Zanjeer is remade again chances of Apoorva Lakhia’s film being called a classic are bright.